Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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