I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
