I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
