I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
