It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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