i was born a porn star she said
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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