I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize