so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
