Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I love you.
Bad choice
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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