What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
