THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize