just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dick very happy bro
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
