She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
