You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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