community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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