Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
