Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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