i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize