A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
