i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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