Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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