i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
