Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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