Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
