We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
