handjob tips. give me some.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
