Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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