Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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