he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
