first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
