she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
