i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
