let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
