so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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