Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
