I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize