Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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