This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
