I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
