do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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