their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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