You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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