Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
