Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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