im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
