I need to stop coming to work sober
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
