Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
