pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
