12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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