If that was your dad, he is hot
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize