I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
