youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
