the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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