1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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