oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
