apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
