NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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