Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
