so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
