He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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