You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
